Blond Joke #2

Have to include my favorite one!!!

Puzzle Puzzles Blonde

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . .. . .. .

'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

My birthday

Tomorrow is my birthday, the Big 3-0 as my mom called to point out. Thanks Mom! I guess if I am that old she is, well, older also so she might feel the pain too.

When Mom called I mentioned that I feel like turning 30 marks my crossing over point from being young to being old. She said that maybe a generation ago 30 was considered old, but now it is young. I guess this is true considering the life expectancy predicts I am likely to live another 40 years or so, thus I am not even half way through my life. But my peers and I looking back at our parents lives, see that by the time they were our age they were settled into adulthood- they had a career (or at least long term jobs), a spouse, children, and you know, a cohesive life. I wasn't there but that is how it seems. When my parents were my age, they had been married for eight years, had purchased a house and been living there for about five years, had each been at their jobs for eight or more years, and were two years away from having me... at which time they were 'old' parents. I wonder if they had any student loan debt left? =) Me? I have no job past Friday at this point, much less a career, I have a boyfriend (thank God for that or things might be bleak, right?), and I have a home for about 12 more days. Things are not good. My friend got laid off recently in LA, not completely unexpectedly and posted on her Facebook a quote from her pastor that things can only get better from here. I think things can definitely get worse. But I have hope that things will get better in the near future. Things are obviously going to go one way or the other because I am kinda balancing on a fence post and I can only stay up here so long before I either fall on solid land or fall into the lake and potentially drown. But I have had two interviews in the past week and hopefully another in the next week. Maybe one will net a local job offer. If so, I have been invited to seek housing with some friends here who are relocating.

Now birthdays tend to create problems for significant others who feel compelled to give gifts. My lovely boyfriend is no different. I guess he has given it thought, barked up some trees, and come up empty handed. Poor guy. He wanted to buy me some Cole Haan Shoes that I really liked, but he couldn't find them on the Internet and he is too lazy to go to Gurnee to get them for me. I say tough luck, dude! And he then asked me what he should get me... I gave some suggestions but he did not like any of them. Really, maybe he should think outside the box, hey? He has time on his hands, what could he do with the time he has on his hands that would be nice? I don't know. Buying gifts under pressure is hard! I feel it. I have a month before his birthday, maybe I should get started figuring out his birthday present. I have some ideas, but they will probably go over as well as the Christmas present which is likely in a box somewhere in his house and has never been used. The other half of the gift went well, though, so I can take solice in that.

Well. It is my birthday now. I am just going to try to enjoy it. Focus on the good things, the happy times in my life. Mom says the 30's are the best years, and Mom's always right, right?

Blond Joke #1

My mom suggested that I should start a collection of blond jokes. You know because I am blond, I guess. Hey why not? If they are funny, I will post them. Here is one she sent me today.

Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
A contestant Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'
Had reached the final plateau.

If she answered the next question correctly, she would win
$1,000,000.
If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000
Milestone money.

And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no
Pushover.

It was, 'Which of the following species of birds does not build
Its own
Nest but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is
It:

A) the condor

B) the buzzard

C) the cuckoo

D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot..... She did not know the answer.

She had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience
Lifeline.....

All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.

She hoped she would not have to use it because........ Her
Friend was,
Well, a blonde.

But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her
The
Question and the four choices. The blonde responded
Unhesitatingly:

'That's easy.... The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast.

She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any
Answer her.

Except the one that her friend had given
And considering her friend was a blonde that would seem to be
The
Logical t hing to do. But her friend had responded with such
Confidence,

Such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be
Convinced.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes, that is my final answer.'

'That answer is Absolutely correct!

You are now a millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family
And
Friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the
Million
Dollars.

'Jeni, I just do not know how to thank you, ' said the
Contestant.
'How did you happen to know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde 'Everybody knows that cuckoos
Don't
Build nests. They live in clocks.'

Sally fainted