Saturday, April 11, 2009

One thing, and then another

I have written a few blogs in the last couple of weeks but I am trying to follow the adage "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Not an easy task. Especially when some others do say not nice things. Apparently I said something not nice, in a moment or five of anger about a month ago that will continue to cause me problems for a while. But maybe we will get to that in a future post, maybe not.

My grandmother died on March 27 which is somewhat ironic since my grandfather (opposite side) died on September 27, 2008. In six months I lost two grandparents or 50% of my grandparents (oooh, yeah too much statistics and data analysis lately). That sucks. Now, this may be difficult to understand or some might find it harsh, but my grandma dying was a good thing in a bad way. Different people experience death and the resulting mourning in different ways and I think anger was the most prominent stage in my mourning process for my grandmother. She was old and she was in bad health. But she didn't do much of anything to fight her dissintigration into bad health and instead sat in her house and did not much of anything. A crossword, some reading, ordered stuff from catalogs, and waited for people to come visit her when she could have been hanging out at the senior center or with her great grandchildren or daughter and son-in-law. But after grandpa died and she moved to Bishop, she just seemed to have lost her desire to live and for this I am angry. But I think I am getting over it. I guess she got what she wanted... the chance to be with grandpa again. I just wish that her family had not had to experience her giving up on life as a result.

Tomorrow is Easter and this means that I can eat meat again. I was doing pretty good on this vegetarian thing until Wednesday and then I was over it and wanted some meat. A little chicken, fish, a good taco- come on!! Hopefully eating meat again will not make me sick. Eating vegetarian wasn't all bad, I just got a bit tired of all the beans I was eating in order to get some protein. I didn't eat as many eggs as I thought I might and really it was not as difficult as I thought it was going to be. Eric was pretty supportive in that he ate what I fixed, but when we went out he always got something with meat in it. Yesterday I really wanted some of his pasta with chicken in it!!! I am hoping as I merge back into omnivore status that I will not overdo the meat consumption just to make up for lost time. One thing I learned from my experience is that there are plenty of meatless meals that are good and so I plan to keep some of these foods in my diet. I was disappointed that I did not seem to have lost much weight. In that way I kinda wish I had observed Passover instead as I always seem to lose weight when carbs are removed from my diet. It is clear I love carbs.

I am working away on my thesis. Right now I am in problem solution mode as I am trying to maximize the number of cases on which my analysis is based by dealing with missing data issues. Somehow my analysis is down to 9000 some cases from 16000 cases so I need to see where all the cases went. Then I need to get on my horse and analyze this data. Then revise what I already have written, get it reviewed by the profs on my committee, revise, and put a bow on this hog! (Midwest humor?) Hopefully I will graduate on time. My dad told me yesterday that my parents have not bought their plane tickets yet.... oh, I just shake my head at that. Maybe they think I won't graduate and somehow we will know that in a reasonable amount of time before, or maybe they are just procrastinating like I did in making my reservations for the hotel in Vancouver where I will stay for Kim's wedding this coming weekend. Yikes! Kim will be married in seven days!!!

Both Eric and I have been applying for jobs. I think he really did apply for a job in Antarctica. If he goes without me I will be sad and maybe a little ticked off. But on the other hand I am cold here in Wisconsin and do you know how much the coats they suggest you have for being in Antarctica cost? Over $500. And I am tired of being inside here and hate the cold wind, how much worse will it be there? So maybe I should be happy the Norseman may go without me.

Tonight, another basketball game (go Bucks!) night. Keeping a positive attitude about it.

Friday, April 3, 2009

April (snow?) showers

Okay it has been a long time, a long long time. I will try to make up a few here soon, we will see. What is going on? A lot. I finally got my thesis proposal to a good point and defended it and now I am on to the actual thesis work, thank heavens. Lots to do in a short amount of time. Lots of stress as things are really coming to the end here- of many things... but how many? Here is the current countdown
29 days until the goal I made for having my thesis done.
35 days until I have to be done
45 days until graduation
58 days until I am homeless
Yeah so I gave notice on my apartment when I paid my rent this month. That was scary enough, but then they put a For Rent sign in the yard so I get to have the reminder every day. Somehow I need to find a job and new place to live before those 58 days are up. It is going to be pretty difficult I fear.

Eric and I celebrated out semi-anniversary and that was nice. It has not been an easy six months in either of our lives, what with deaths, a layoff, and my thesis, but I think it has gone very well.
Eric was in a horrible mood today. I don't know what his deal was and I hope he gets over it. I was talking to Jamieson about guys and their tendency to get into a funk that is impermeable to intervention and can only blow over. But he did make me some tea while I was working on my thesis which was very kind.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Goodbye weekend, goodbye. A ramble.

What a weekend. Finished the second (near-final?) draft of my proposal. Made cookies. Went running in the rain. Graded student assignments that were decent to good, maybe three bad ones in the batch. Had an enjoyable dinner with some Soc people, though I will note that the only thing worse than a group of people who can't stop talking shop is having people from outside the shop come and make the group talk about shop, especially when the group intended to escape the shop. Hit the town with Eric and some of his boys and was joined by Tiffany and Melissa in full pursuit of intoxication- fun ensued. Headed out this afternoon for lunch at Fratello's got soaked so I came home and stayed here for the rest of the day staying dry and warm trying to prepare myself for my students' midterm on Thursday and bracing for the incoming literature reviews. I have been combing the Internet this weekend for things to do, jobs, and information about Summerfest. Didn't come up with much, but had a good time doing it. One more week of school before a week "off" and my trip to Los Angeles. Speaking of this trip, this is how it came about: Two Thursdays ago I was in my professor's office and we were talking about the Literature Review grading and I recalled that last semester I graded the Lit Reviews on the plane to and from Fresno where I had to go for my grandfather's memorial service and how well that dedicated time worked for getting the grading done. That led me to think about maybe going to CA for break, and then asking myself, why not? Then I asked Eric who I expected to blow the idea out of the water, but instead he said, sure. So now we are going. Yay! But I looked at the weather forecast and it is predicting rain- BOO! I hope that will change as it will but a snag in the plans to go to Knott's and the beach.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Limbo

I completed the second draft of my thesis proposal today so I feel somewhat elated but am fully aware that there will probably some additional revisions and it probably is not yet to defensible quality- which sucks. I need to get the proposal done and defended so I can get on with the analysis. But for now I am going to enjoy an opportunity to feel a little bit good about things and get some things done that I have let slip. I did a bunch of laundry but my apartment could use some TLC and I haven't done much baking lately so I might try a little of that.

I went vegetarian for Lent and it has been... okay. Eric and I went to Woodman's to grocery shop on Sunday. It was an interesting shopping trip. There is, of course, plenty of food available for vegetarians but making this change in my diet has made me (and as a result Eric) much more aware of what I (we) eat. Since Eric doesn't actually buy much when we go grocery shopping and has little food that is his in his house (most of it being left over from occupation by is cousin or aunt), my diet impacts his diet heavily. In the frozen dinner section there were precious few meals without meat, I had never noticed this before. Woodmans has a whole row including frozen foods for the health, vegan, and organic foods so that was a good place to go for yummy stuff I can eat. I got a few dinners and two Amy's burrito type things. Everything I have eaten so far has been good, except for the Jeweled Rice I made but that is because brown rice is sometimes difficult to deal with.

Eric and I are heading to Los Angeles for Spring Break in ten days. Yay! I am hoping for temperatures of 60+ each day we are there. The only things on the schedule so far are Knott's Berry Farm and Alvin Ailey Dance Theater. We also try to take in some ethnic foods of various kinds. Eric wants to go to a noodle house. I think he will find they are similar to those here in Milwaukee. I want to visit the ocean but I don't know if it is going to be warm enough for a good beach trip. Eric chuckled at me when I said that- he reminded me that he went in Lake Michigan on New Years Day- water temperature maybe 35, air temperature 20, wind chill making it about -10. I guess it will be warmer in California than that!!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

End of Februrary Life

Wow! I knew I fell off the side of the earth, but I didn't realize for how long! That illness I had left me 50% down for the count for over two weeks. It was bad news bears, as they say. But I managed to emerge from it, finally. I am trying to get my thesis proposal revised and done done by Friday, it has a long way to go.

I am not doing well on any of my goals for this year! I did get and cook something from the Joy of Cooking, and it was good. But you would think by this time I would have cooked more than one thing from there! Working has only been getting done by virtue of the fact that I have dance class twice a week, lost my ID so I have to walk to and from school, and we had Kilties. However, I have noticed that I was not as sore as I usually am after Kilties this month and I have better endurance on my walks to school (though this could be because I have to carry much less back and forth with my light course schedule) and in other activities as well. Need to work more formal exercise into my schedule. I have not been losing weight as a result of my lack of exercise and I blame some of it on Winter! I have, however, decided to go vegetarian for Lent. This occurred as a result of Eric chiding me when I proposed to give up other items that were less sacrificial like red meat or chocolate. At least this way I still get to eat chocolate. I have been doing okay with my hospitality resolution in small ways, like making food for small group meetings almost bi-week. Obviously I have not been as diligent with my work as I could have been. But progress is being made on the thesis process toward me graduating in May. We can all see my lack of achievement of the blog once a week goal. I will try harder, okay? =)

Other stuff I have been up to.... hmm. For Valentine's Day, Eric and I made fondue, which was fun as always. I applied for a job here in Milwaukee that hopefully could start after I graduate. I mention this because the application took many hours to complete! We had Kilties last weekend and it seemed that a number of people were cranky- boo to you people. I took Ryan out for his birthday and then we saw Pat McCurdy at Bar Louie this past Tuesday night , that was a night of a ton of fun. I enjoy Pat McCurdy a great deal because his shows involve audience participation.

Okay I am going back to writing now!

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Ugh!

So the last few days have not been the best. I got the horrible cold that has been going around. I think it is the same one as the rest of my office at school has had, not the one that ski trip people had. Although, who knows? It could be the same thing. I am medicating and staying home. This seems to be the best course of action. Plenty of tissue, liquids, medications, a bed, clothes, blankets, and the bathroom are nice and handy. The problem is that I have a thesis proposal to get done by Tuesday and my head is full of yuck and it feels like I am trying to think through yuck. In case you aren't aware, thinking through yuck is neither effective nor fun.

Objectively worse than this, Eric got laid off yesterday from his job. I say objectively because in my head it is a really bad thing. I told Ryan and he reacted like maybe he/we would be in mourning. But a) Eric is taking it pretty well and is upbeat about it, and b) it didn't totally come out of the blue. This was at least the third round of layoffs the company has done and Eric is a younger member of the staff. Though he, and many others, thought he was indispensable because he is so talented in many different ways. Earlier this week we were watching the news and a story was being reported about Cardinal Stritch wanting to buy property from the Archdiocese of Milwaukee to build a south campus and the hearing that was going to occur. In the background of the footage were posters that Eric had made for the proposal. As Eric noted last night it was ironic that in one week his work was on TV and then he lost his job. Thankfully Eric isn't currently paying rent since he is living in his aunt's house which is up for sale. But they seem to be trying to sell the house as they have several showings and an open house this weekend. Like I said, Eric seems upbeat about the whole thing and has some ideas about where to seek new and possibly different employment... after he plays some video games :). Just kidding, I am sure he will get right on the job search though it is a stressful process that will probably require some stress relief in the form of said video game playing. Selfishly, I must admit I am wondering what this is going to do for my schedule. I thought I had the perfect thing going with my days all scheduled so that I would get my work done while Eric was working. Us, you know, still being in that "You're the greatest ever, I want to spend every waking moment with you" phase may make sticking to my schedule more difficult. So, for my sake alone I hope he finds a new job soon. You all know that is tongue in cheek, right? On the other hand, this could be a blessing in disguise because, based on my research, he is worth a lot more than he has been getting paid. Of course his value is in large part a virtue of that job as it has given him three years of experience, brought him some great contacts here in Milwaukee, helped him really get to know many of the environmental issues in Milwaukee, and learn how to navigate the bureaucratic channels in the state. So hopefully he will be able to find a better job nearby and not have to go to Madison or Chicago.

In other news, I seem to be drawn to the crazy stuff people do on the Internet these days. My dad sent me a note about a book about Dating and Dumping in LA by Zagat, but he didn't send me a link to the article he was talking about so I had to search for it and along the way I found the following trainwreck: http://www.okcupid.com/forum?low=1&tid=7223997838631196585 I cannot believe this girl did not have the evaluative skills to conclude that she had made a series of errors, should be embarrassed, say "Shame on him, but shame on me too," and move on with her life. Instead she writes a very popular note about it. The reader can almost feel bad for her, then a previous blog is exposed where she admits that she posted fake pictures of herself. When a potential beau decides he doesn't want to meet her after she reveals this deception she concludes that it is because he is superficial. Thankfully plenty of people are there to point out that if he is a decent guy he probably doesn't want to be lied to and deception is not a good foundation for a relationship. What is sad about the situation is that in both of her posts it is apparent that she has a personality that is attractive to at least some men, in the more recent case her appearance does get in the way, and in the earlier case her perception of her appearance got in the way. In a trite way we could say "Honesty is the best policy," but according to jerk-boy he would have have dated her if he knew her true weight. Of course, no one wants to date superficial jerk-boy, or know that they are. Mention of this instance would be funny in passing if I didn't have the sense that maybe this is only one in many similar situations. As I read this I stopped and thought about the possibility that I knew the girl who wrote these messages. I went back and read them again to convince myself that the writing style was not the same. These are very real issues in online dating- the FBS, which I had never heard of before reading the comments for this posting, whether to reveal ones real weight, whether to post pictures that are accurate portrayals of ones appearance or the super foxy done up ones, and how to deal with the pond scum that sometimes surface in online dating sites.

Then a new Facebook scandal with local tie-ins. http://www.jsonline.com/news/39091967.html Apparently a student at a high school in New Berlin, WI pretended to be a girl and used Facebook at AIM to illicit nude photos of boys at his high school. He then blackmailed the boys threatening to release the photos if they did not perform sexual favors for him. Wow! First the texting nude photos- porn charges, now this.... yowsers.

Okay, I think that is enough warm up for my proposal writing. My head feels a little bit more clear than it did when I started writing.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Ski Trip!

So I am sitting here listening to a bunch of music from Songza.com, a site that Eric introduced to me. I am enjoying it because I am having trouble putting money or effort into my Ipod, it is good enough for running right now, but it is fun to be able to check out some other music that I am not familiar with. For example, last semester when I was writing my dance critique I used Songza to listed to some of the music the pieces were set to and it helped to remind me of what had happened. Also, my friend Tiffany likes a band called Griffin House and so I am listening to some of their music right now. It is pretty good- nice guitar and lyrics. And I can listen to some music to get Beyonce out of my head!!

I am trying to get down to business on my thesis but I have to uphold my blog resolution! I have set a goal to get a first draft of my thesis proposal done by Feb. 10, that is one week from now so I better get writing and revising! But first a little on the ski trip this past weekend:

The trip is an annual trip for Eric and his friends, their significant others, and some other fantastic people. This year ten people made up the group and we stayed in a great chalet close to the ski hill. The chalet had four bedrooms and two baths. It could have slept 20, if my calculations are correct. It had two gathering areas with TV's, a kitchen, dining table, and best of all a spa outside. We also had access to the indoor pool, spa, and workout room at the lodge for the ski resort. There isn't much to say other than that it was a great trip. I think fun was had by all. I certainly had a great time. I learned to ski. Unbelieveable. It is sort of unbelieveable that I had never learned to ski before, but then that I learned at my ancient age.... =)... that is pretty cool. I guess I was doing pretty good, at least that is what people told me. It was fun going down hills, except that I would start going too fast and panic, forget what I was supposed to do to slow down and instead throw myself into the ground- it is a pretty effective way to stop. The first four or so times it did not hurt to fall, but two of my falls hurt. I have always thought that skiing was a leisure time activity, but it really is a sport. It uses a lot of muscles! I started the weekend pretty sore from Kilties and overdoing the sautes in jazz class, which was bad news for skiing. But I survived with the help of many showers, dips in both outdoor and indoor spas, Advil, and stretching. I am looking forward to going skiing another time when I do not start out in pain! Yipppee!