Saturday, July 10, 2010

Challenge and update

I have nothing much interesting to report on the food eating front, I guess. I am trying to use up things slowly but surely. No crazy recipes yet! I used more sorbet and frozen fruit for smoothies, and last night I used some of her rice and edamame to go with my stir fry. As I was making the stir fry I noticed that she left a lot more stuff in the spice cabinets than I would have expected given that when I moved in she was clear that we were not sharing olive oil. That just leaves more balsamic vinegar for caprese salad!! There are a lot of pitas in the freezer so I am trying to use those up quickly. I am trying to clean stuff out of the freezer because I want to get the ice bin in there ASAP since it is very hot and it would be nice to have plenty of ice available. There is a lot of stuff in the freezer though, so I have a task ahead of me.

Mostly, recently I have been puzzling about life and particularly the future of my life from the point where I am right now. This has also brought a great deal of attempted analysis of what has happened so far this year in several arenas.

At work, my boss left and told me that I was likely going to get his position. This was a position that I wasn't technically qualified for and one that would come with a great deal more responsibility and stress. I didn't really want the job, per se, but, as most people who know me know, I believe in the mission of the organization and am concerned about us putting out a good product. Given the timing involved, my boss leaving in the middle of gearing up for our next operation, the effort I personally put into the preparation for the operation, and my experience thus far in the operation (previous new employees who have entered our division have taken a whole operation to really understand what is going on) including the fact that my portion of the operation is a check on the work that has been done by the other teams in our department so we have no margin for error, it seemed like I would be a good choice for the position. Of course I didn't get the position. At first it was going to be given to someone who was at the same level as me, but apparently his supervisor threw a fit and she got the position. The problem here is that she had previously made it known that she does not like me and she is kind of the anti-me. In addition she has a very checkered past of decision making since we have all been working there the past year. It is very concerning. Further, her management style is different and my work functions have gone from tasks that required genuine planning and decision making on my part to being kind of a puppet of her (bad) decisions. The rest of the department had the pleasure this last week of sitting in a meeting where we were lectured about doing things that my boss does that we are not supposed to do, of course my boss was not present for this meeting. I have been looking for another job for a while, since this job is temporary and could end at any time really. I am fairly certain that if I stay I will be on until June 2011, but do I want to stay? Not really, I would rather have a job where I am challenged and can use some of the unique skills I have gained from previous education and employment. Before this change in management things were going pretty well at work. I loved my boss, we had a team that worked like a team, I had responsibilities, I worked with other teams, I had good rapport with my field employees, and I got to go observe and assist with training. I felt good about things, now it is a mess.

Couple that with the fact that my best friend tried to break up with me last weekend. Really he was saying that we cause each other a lot of pain and that has to stop, so either we have to part ways or renegotiate the nature of our relationship. We went for the later. Amazingly we were on the same page, for the most part, in understanding the current stage of our relationship. We haven't been on the same page about anything for a while, hence the conversation about the situation.

And I have been giving more thought to some other relationship issues as well. Those thoughts pretty much take me in circles. I like to wear circles, not think in them.

No comments:

Post a Comment