Challenge and update

I have nothing much interesting to report on the food eating front, I guess. I am trying to use up things slowly but surely. No crazy recipes yet! I used more sorbet and frozen fruit for smoothies, and last night I used some of her rice and edamame to go with my stir fry. As I was making the stir fry I noticed that she left a lot more stuff in the spice cabinets than I would have expected given that when I moved in she was clear that we were not sharing olive oil. That just leaves more balsamic vinegar for caprese salad!! There are a lot of pitas in the freezer so I am trying to use those up quickly. I am trying to clean stuff out of the freezer because I want to get the ice bin in there ASAP since it is very hot and it would be nice to have plenty of ice available. There is a lot of stuff in the freezer though, so I have a task ahead of me.

Mostly, recently I have been puzzling about life and particularly the future of my life from the point where I am right now. This has also brought a great deal of attempted analysis of what has happened so far this year in several arenas.

At work, my boss left and told me that I was likely going to get his position. This was a position that I wasn't technically qualified for and one that would come with a great deal more responsibility and stress. I didn't really want the job, per se, but, as most people who know me know, I believe in the mission of the organization and am concerned about us putting out a good product. Given the timing involved, my boss leaving in the middle of gearing up for our next operation, the effort I personally put into the preparation for the operation, and my experience thus far in the operation (previous new employees who have entered our division have taken a whole operation to really understand what is going on) including the fact that my portion of the operation is a check on the work that has been done by the other teams in our department so we have no margin for error, it seemed like I would be a good choice for the position. Of course I didn't get the position. At first it was going to be given to someone who was at the same level as me, but apparently his supervisor threw a fit and she got the position. The problem here is that she had previously made it known that she does not like me and she is kind of the anti-me. In addition she has a very checkered past of decision making since we have all been working there the past year. It is very concerning. Further, her management style is different and my work functions have gone from tasks that required genuine planning and decision making on my part to being kind of a puppet of her (bad) decisions. The rest of the department had the pleasure this last week of sitting in a meeting where we were lectured about doing things that my boss does that we are not supposed to do, of course my boss was not present for this meeting. I have been looking for another job for a while, since this job is temporary and could end at any time really. I am fairly certain that if I stay I will be on until June 2011, but do I want to stay? Not really, I would rather have a job where I am challenged and can use some of the unique skills I have gained from previous education and employment. Before this change in management things were going pretty well at work. I loved my boss, we had a team that worked like a team, I had responsibilities, I worked with other teams, I had good rapport with my field employees, and I got to go observe and assist with training. I felt good about things, now it is a mess.

Couple that with the fact that my best friend tried to break up with me last weekend. Really he was saying that we cause each other a lot of pain and that has to stop, so either we have to part ways or renegotiate the nature of our relationship. We went for the later. Amazingly we were on the same page, for the most part, in understanding the current stage of our relationship. We haven't been on the same page about anything for a while, hence the conversation about the situation.

And I have been giving more thought to some other relationship issues as well. Those thoughts pretty much take me in circles. I like to wear circles, not think in them.

Apppril

I guess I better get down to what appears to have become a monthly ritual! There is both a great deal and not very much going on. But that straddles that line between TMI and plain information. My last blog had me returning from my travels and it really seems like a blur of not very interesting stuff since then. We have had some good weather and some bad. Right now it is rainy and yucky. I am not opposed to rain in general, but for some reason I am not pleased with it today. I wanted to go running, grocery shopping, and transport some stuff to and from my storage unit today. None of these things are activities I feel like completing while contending with rain today. I should be cleaning up my desk, a task I have intended to complete for weeks now but have continued to put off. There are probably other things I could come up with to accomplish, but I feel kind of blah like the weather. Interesting things I have done lately... on Easter I went and helped at Tracee's church with an Easter meal they put on for those less fortunate. There were over 200 people in attendance and I was clearing tables of plates and trash as people finished. It was quite an undertaking. Then Tracee and I hosted some of her friends for Easter dinner which was lovely. I went to a concert at the Chicago Symphony Orchestra Symphony Hall last weekend. The concert was good, the chamber was beautiful, but I left feeling a little disappointed by the whole thing. There were about 50 people in the audience when the concert began and the whole thing was a little odd. On Friday I took some time off of work to take the train to Milwaukee for the Brewers vs Cubs game. My good friend Tiffany had organized a gathering of people along with one of her co-workers so there was a crowd of ... well I don't know, I thought I heard 22 but it didn't seem like that many of us. So I got up there and they picked me up from the train and we jetted over to get a good spot in the parking lot and we succeeded! We ate some yummy food and had a great time tailgating in the parking lot, grooving to some tunes and some played beer pong. I accidentally encountered a guy peeing in the parking lot which I disbelieved at first but I have been assured that it was indeed what was happening. I don't know that I actually watched much of the game. The Brewers were not playing well and I had not seen Tiffany in many moons, and while I had seen Ryan recently, there is always a lot to talk about! In any case, we had a fantastic time. Best time I have had in a very long time. Unfortunately we all did not weather the evening as well as we might have so we all had to go directly to bed after the game rather than painting the town blue and gold in continued jubilation. It was good to be back in Milwaukee in familiar places. I do miss all my friends up there and wish I had friends like them down here.

Things have been pretty rough over the last few months in multiple facets of life. Work has been pretty stressful for a number of reasons. There has been tension between my boss and others at his level, and while it has reduced quite a bit as it effects my boss, it is still extant. And there have certainly been some ups and downs in my personal life. But I think things are looking up as the weather heats up. I am looking forward to playing softball in a league beginning near the end of May. My parents are also coming to visit at the end of May so watch out Chicago! Also let's hope for good weather for their visit so I don't have to hear about it!

Love to all!

Falling into the abyss/pool

I am suffering the post- whatever blahs. This past semester I managed to finish my thesis when the situation looked like such a thing was going to be near impossible. It happened fast, indeed. And now I am on the other side of it. I graduated. I finished the thesis, I defended it, I bound it, and submitted it to the department. I walked at graduation, got a nifty hood and a folder for my diploma, whenever it arrives. I am done. But for what? What comes next? What is my next challenge?

In these blahs, that I knew without question would surface, I am thankful to have friends who can pop in to drag me out. As I was walking to school today I got a text message which did the trick in dragging me out of my doldrums.

Tomorrow night is the House Cooling Party. I am working on the menu and considering all that needs to get done tomorrow... maybe I will get going on that tonight! I am excited that many people are coming, but the number of people with restricted diets has multiplied so that will require some creativity.